Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
