One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
