I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
