Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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