you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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