Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
