i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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