Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
