Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
