i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
