You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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