Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
