Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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