the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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