TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
