I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
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