Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
