I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
