They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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