a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
