I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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