I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
vagina is talking i cant
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
