the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is Oprah even human
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
