I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
