He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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