My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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