i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
