do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize