she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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