Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
