Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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