There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
worst night to have a conscience
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
