We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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