Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
