Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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