Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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