yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
