i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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