my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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