Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I understand Curling. That high.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
