I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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