im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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