your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
