Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
