kristin has been a bad kristin
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize