How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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