i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
