I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
