I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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