You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
