This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
