If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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